Visitation

Visitation can be one of the hardest factors of a temporary order or divorce decree to enforce. It is a fact that there are individuals who will use visitation as a weapon to get back at their former spouse. Don't withhold visitation. Even if child support is not paid in a timely matter, visitation should not be withheld. Be advised, that the former spouse can and possibly will go to Court to seek modification or change in custody if you use visitation as a weapon. Encourage your former spouse to be an involved parent. Encourage your child's relationship with their other parent.

For visitation to work, both parents need to accept and acknowledge that their children have two homes - one with their father and one with their mother. Parents need to make sure that their children are safe and comfortable in both places, even if they don't spend equal time there. They need to help make the transition from one home to the other smooth and calm. They also need to make sure they are being consistent in rules and discipline.

Things to Try to Remember for Visitations

• Be as flexible as possible with schedules.
• Help children feel safe and comfortable in both homes. 
• Develop routines to give children a sense of security. 
• Maintain open communication lines with the child’s other parent. 
• Don't question your children's loyalty. 
• Help make the transition from one home to the other smooth and calm. 
• Discuss rules and discipline with the child’s other parent so you are consistent. 
• Give the other parent advance notice of changes in your schedule.
  Remember to give the other parent your vacation schedule in advance.
  Remember that your children may have plans that could affect your visitation schedule.
• Make visitation a normal part of life.
• Find activities that give you and your children an opportunity to build your relationship. Allow time together without planned activities just to "hang out." Provide a balance between fun and responsibility for your children. 
• Encourage visitation that includes grandparents and extended family. 
• Make sure your children have their own places in your home even if it is just part of a room so they feel it is also their home. Help your children meet other kids in your neighborhood so they have friends at both homes. Try to keep a routine schedule to help prepare your children for visitation. Have a checklist of items such as clothing and toys that your children need to take on visitations. If the children are old enough, they can help pack. If it's appropriate, allow your children to bring friends along occasionally. Spend individual time with each of your children. 
• Show respect for the child’s other parent and concern for your children.
• Be on time. 
• Inform the child’s other parent if a new person such as a babysitter or romantic partner will be part of the visitation. 
• Share changes in your address, home and work phone numbers, and in your job with the child’s other parent.

Things to Try to Avoid for Visitations

• Don't refuse to communicate with the child’s other parent.
• Don't use your children to relay messages on issues such as child support. Those issues should be discussed by adults only. 
• Don't make your children responsible for making, canceling, or changing visitation plans. Those are adult responsibilities. 
• Don't use your children to spy on the child’s other parent. Don't fight with the other parent during drop-off and pickup times. Deal with important issues when your children cannot overhear. 
• Don't disrupt your children's relationship with their other parent.
• Don't make your children feel guilty about spending time with their other parent. 
• Don't use visitation as a reward for good behavior, and don't withhold it as punishment for poor behavior. 
• Don't tell your children you will feel lonely and sad if they visit their other parent. 
• Don't withhold visitation to punish your former spouse for problems such as missed child support payments. Withholding visitation punishes your children, who are not guilty. 
• Don't withhold visitation because you feel the child’s other parent doesn't deserve to see the children. Unless a parent is a genuine threat, adults and children need to see each other. 
• Don't use false abuse accusations to justify withholding visitation. 
• Don't let activities such as sports and hobbies interfere with the time your children spend with their other parent. The child’s other parent transport the child to those activities if needed and can sometimes participate. 
• Don't pressure your children about leaving clothes or toys at their other parent's home. The children need to feel they belong in both places.
• Don't falsely claim that your children are sick to justify withholding visitation. 
• Don't withhold phone calls to your children from their other parent. 
• Don't hurt your children by failing to show up for visitation or by being late. 
• Don't let your children blackmail you by refusing to visit unless you buy them something.
• Don't feel you need to be your children's buddy for visitations to be successful. Your children need you to be a parent. 
• Don't try to fill every minute of a visit. Allow some down time for routine activities such as cooking or laundry, or quiet time just to be together.

Kris Balekian, P.C. knows how to divorces go in Dallas TX, and can arrange visitation rights fast and effectively. Call today for a no obligation consultation.